At a Loss

I used to be good at expressing myself
I used to be good at reading myself
I used to be good at hearing myself
I used to be good at knowing myself
But now I’m at a loss

I lost my ability to communicate
I lost my ability to comprehend
I lost my ability to perceive
I lost parts that were only distinctive to me
I lost and so now I’m lost

Usually when one is lost, they’re aware of their unfamiliar surroundings
but I… I cannot recognize where I am
I cannot even recognize where I stand
And what is worse is that I’m starting to not recognize who I am
I used to be so great and defined but now I feel so small and distorted
I’m like a child who is learning to color inside the lines
Except that I’m way past the learning point and I can only color outside the lines

How did I get to here?
How did I get to now?
Where did this all come from?
Where did this mess even begin?
Who do I get to blame?
Who do I get to hate?
When do I break free?
When do I escape?

I’m so tired and exhausted
I’m so angry and irritated
I’m so scared and frightened
I’m so messed up to the point of being at a loss
I am at a loss

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